You smell like stripper and shame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i drank out of a bidet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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