bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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