its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
