love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
