He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
