its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
