does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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