are you still at the devil's house?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
be right there i have to get my cape
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
