Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
