we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
