Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
