i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
