I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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