How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
