I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
