I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
