hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
