So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
