the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
