Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
