break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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