I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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