So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
