i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
