cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
