Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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