does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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