And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
