so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This baby is an asshole
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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