The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
