So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
