guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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