porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
