Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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