I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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