Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
