There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
