omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
