If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
