if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
