worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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