Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
vagina is talking i cant
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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