You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
