its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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