there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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