is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
