Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
