I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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