so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
