My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
