i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
